4 Things Mormons Should Know When Talking to Mormon Feminists
by Meghan Flinders
About the Author
Meghan Flinders is a senior at Utah Valley University, studying English with dual concentrations in Creative Writing and Writing Studies. She loves reading, writing, and singing. While at UVU, she has served on the editorial staff of Touchstones and Essais. Her poetry, creative nonfiction, and academic work has appeared in various journals, including Segullah, Intersections, Warp and Weave, and Touchstones. Meghan expects to die with a book in her hand.
Further Reading:
- Teach Ye Diligently and My Grace Shall Attend You
- Mormon Feminist Perspectives on the Mormon Digital Awakening: A Study of Identity and Personal Narratives
- Feminism Wiki
- Mormon Feminism Wiki
About the Editor:
Bryn Garrett is a soon-to-be English graduate at Utah Valley University with an emphasis in Writing Studies and a certification in Editing. She has edited for the UVU journals Essais and Warp and Weave and is currently an Editor at Bookstr, a platform that creates content related to book culture. She is passionate about language and looks forward to using her writing and editing skills where they'll make an impact.
Not so long ago I sat beside a friend of mine. We were both members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint[s], or Mormons. I happened to make a cheerful comment about how proud I am to be a feminist. My friend looked at me with raised eyebrows and said, “I’m not a feminist. I don’t think women are better than men. I don’t know how you can be Mormon and a feminist.”
I was shocked, not only by the assumption that feminism means women are better than men, but because I see myself as a Mormon and as a feminist. They are both important parts of my identity and beliefs. I don’t know who I would be without either of these identifiers. I had, in fact, assumed my friend was a feminist based on many past conversations we had had together about the desire for equality between men and woman. I learned many things in that moment. Number one is, do not make assumptions. That was my bad. I also learned that feminism is far more complex than I realized for me, particularly because I identify as a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and as a feminist.
Ever since I was a little girl, I thought of myself as a feminist. Though at the time I hardly knew what that meant, feminism has become an important part of my identity as I have grown up. I want equality between men and women, and I do feel that there are many barriers still present within our society surrounding equality that need to be addressed. I also know that feminism can often be misunderstood by people, but I always felt like identifying as a feminist was a good thing. It made me feel proud to be a woman. It was not until recently that I came to recognize that, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, identifying as a feminist can sometimes lead to misunderstandings and assumptions that make discussion very difficult, even impossible, between members of the church.
The issue of feminism within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has been an ongoing source of conflict and confusion for members of the church. Members who identify themselves as Mormon feminists often find themselves misunderstood, not only by those outside the church, but by their fellow members. This article aims to help Mormons better understand and discuss issues of feminism with those in their church who identify themselves as feminists. It is not meant to persuade Mormons to be feminists or to advocate for change in doctrine, but is meant to foster discussion among members of the church so they can more fully understand, support, and love one another.
1) Don’t Assume Your Definition of Feminism is the Same as Someone Else’s (Feminism is a Spectrum)
Believe it or not, but words don’t mean the same thing to every person. Neither do political or religious ideas. (Take a look at the varying definitions people have for “conservative” or “liberal” and you’ll see this is true.) Our individual experiences and minds define our world in different ways. This means that my definition of what feminism is may not be the same as your definition. I often find that it is the disparities between these definitions that create conflict and misunderstanding about feminism within the LDS church.
In a speech given to students attending Brigham Young University in 1993 (see Further Reading), Bruce C. Hafen, a past member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, pointed out that “There is a broad spectrum of feminist thought.” Hafen bookends this spectrum with equity feminism and radical critique feminism, but even his definitions of “radical” may be different than yours (it is different than mine). So what is important to note is that the feminist spectrum contains many different definitions of feminism and that a person might identify themselves anywhere along that spectrum. Hafen continues to discuss this spectrum, stating:
In between equity feminism and radical critique is a large variety of feminist ideas and approaches, many of which are emerging in academic disciplines. Many forms of academic feminism along this spectrum emphasize the unique dimensions of women’s experiences and perspectives. (Hafen)
The danger comes when we identify others without first coming to understand what they themselves believe. When someone defines feminism by one definition and someone else defines it by another, you may find out upon closer discussion that you are actually talking about two different things. A friend of mine expressed her frustration with this type of situation, sharing an experience where she identified herself as a feminist and was immediately attacked because the person she was talking with assumed that she was pro abortion, a topic that many Mormons are passionate about. They defined all feminists as pro abortion, which my friend was not. Many feminists are pro abortion, but you don’t know that until you talk to them. Similarly, being feminist doesn’t automatically equate to despising motherhood or being anti-family. If I say, “I am a feminist,” then I fall somewhere on the spectrum of feminism. Don’t assume that you know exactly what someone means by “feminist.” Instead, ask them. What do they think when they say “feminist?” What are they personally identifying with? This goes for other feminists as well. Find out what the other person thinks and feels about feminism. If you approach a conversation with questions and a listening ear, you will be better prepared to enter into a conversation of understanding and love. You may find that you share more opinions than you thought.
2) Understand that Feminism has a History and Continues to Evolve and Change
The feminist movement has a rich and complex history; So too does the feminist movement within the LDS church. The feminist movement has done some amazing and incredible things for the United States of America. Many of the rights that women enjoy today were not rights that their great grandmothers had, such as the right to vote, the right to own property, the right to equal pay, and it was a strenuous fight to get them.
Just as the role of women has changed throughout the history of many nations of the world, so too has the role of women changed in the church. Much of the history of feminism within the church, just as it is outside it, is controversial (even painful) for women. My purpose here is not to go over this history in any great detail, but to point out that feminism is a living movement that alters and adjusts its goals and aims as societal values and social structures change.
This point goes hand-in-hand with what has previously been stated about definitions. Because of the historicity of the feminist movement worldwide and within the LDS church, the definition of feminism can be a complex one. Researching and understanding the history of the movement can help you see the perspectives and important values that are connected with the feminist movement. This understanding will make it easier for Mormons and Mormon feminists to communicate to each other where they stand within the vast historical scope of feminism. It can help people with different delineations better define their positions and communicate their ideas to each other without being blinded by assumptions and stereotypes. In order words, it can help create informed and understanding discussions. (see Further Readings at the end of the article for a brief summary of feminism and feminist history within the LDS church.)
3) Questions about the Female Role within the LDS Church Doesn’t Mean Lack of Faith
Many Mormon feminists have questions about the female role within the LDS church and in the life to come. This doesn’t mean that they are not faithful members of the church who are striving to live Christ-like lives. Having questions about the church doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t have faith. You can still believe in something, even if you have questions about it. M. Russell Ballard, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, said in a talk addressed to members of the church:
Having questions and experiencing doubts are not incongruent with dedicated discipleship. Recently, the Council of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated: ‘We understand that from time to time Church members will have questions about Church doctrine, history, or practice. Members are always free to ask such questions and earnestly seek greater understanding. (Ballard)
Questions are not bad. In fact, questions often lead to revelation. Members of the church are encouraged to seek out answers to their questions because those questions can actually strengthen their faith. Many prophets and scriptures state that not everything has been revealed at this time, and that doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to wonder. It was a question that led Joseph Smith to pray to God about which church was true. It was a question that led to the revelation of the Word of Wisdom. Many of the foundational doctrines of the LDS church were revealed through questions and it is often questions that allow people to strengthen their faith. Don’t discredit someone’s concerns about the female role in the church simply because they are questioning. Instead, allow them to try and find answers to their questions. You can encourage them to pray, study the scriptures and words of the prophets, and seek for personal revelation, but don’t discourage them from asking questions.
4) Don’t Tell Someone They Can’t Be a “Good Mormon” and a Feminist
Hearing someone tell you that you can’t be a “good Mormon” and a feminist is painful, especially for those who love the LDS church and feel that they are doing their best to follow the teachings of Christ. Published in Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought (See Further Readings), Jessica Finnigan’s and Nancy Ross’ article “Mormon Feminist Perspective on the Mormon Digital Awakening: A Study of Identity and Personal Narratives” state that, “Identifying as a Mormon feminist often imposes a heavy social cost, and 56 percent of respondents reported that they have experienced negative consequences as a result of expressing feminist views” (Finnigan and Ross 56). Telling someone they aren’t a “good Mormon” because they identify as a feminist ostracizes them. It is also important to note that many Mormon feminists are being told by those outside the church that they can’t be a “good feminist” and a Mormon. Everything tells them that they have to choose one or the other. Until they do so, they don’t truly belong anywhere. This is an incredibly discouraging place to be in. For me, being told this makes me feel completely alone.
This is what I’ve been getting at for this entire essay. Assuming a definition of feminism, placing that definition on someone, and then reacting with antagonism to their identification and concerns will not make people feel included or loved. In some cases, it may even push them away from the LDS church, seeking to find somewhere else where they will be understood and where their concerns will be appreciated. Mormon’s who identify as feminists and those who don’t should seek to better understand each other, to foster love, to seek out discussion with the intent to listen and voice their personal concerns and questions in a caring, patient, and open-minded way. Communication is key to understanding. It is through this type of loving dialogue that we can better understand each other as children of God.