5 ways to deflect sexism in the workplace when you’re a woman

Introduction

I am a 22-year-old young adult. I have held multiple internships, while maintaining a high grade point average as a full time student. I will soon have a college degree from an accredited state university with a resume filled with previous job and volunteer experience that makes me more than qualified for plenty of jobs. However, I am a woman. That shouldn’t change things, but it does. Growing up, I faced many jokes about the clothes I wore or the hairstyle I had. I was teased because I was different than a lot of people, but it never really bothered me. I figured it was a part of life and that people outgrew the small-scale bullying that is gender-based harassment. I have had many jobs over the last five years while in college and never once have I been a victim of a sexist crime. That doesn’t mean it is not real. As a soon-to-be college graduate and as a woman looking to pursue a career, the thought of being harassed for my gender seems rather daunting. I am qualified and hard-working, which would seem to most people that I should earn the same respect as my male coworkers and classmates. But that is not the case. Victims of sexual harassment and sexism are the ones that will tell you how real it is. They will share what it is like to have to pretend to be okay with the way they are treated because it is what women are expected to handle, but not anymore. And these are a few ways women can fight back. You might be thinking that an issue like this is not a major problem and does not deserve much attention. But in reality, the more the issue is ignored, the harder it gets to resolve it and come to a clear conclusion that allows women to see how they deserve to be treated. Here are a few ideas of how people, both men and women (although my list is more meant for women), can fight against sexism.

1. Stand Up for Yourself & Speak Up Against the Sexism

photo of a woman in a business skirt set wearing red boxing gloves with her hands on her hips and a stern look on her face

This doesn’t have to be done in a way of publicly shaming your coworkers, and possibly your friends. No, it can be done in the privacy of a break room or a hallway or in a private office. But it needs to be done. If you feel more in the moment and want to call someone out in the moment, in a more public setting, this may make things more awkward in the office but it will definitely send a message to others in the office or workplace. That being said, it does not have to be a chastising sort of confrontation. It can occur with a simple conversation in which you approach them and talk about setting boundaries in the office. This opens the conversation for others that want to speak up that are afraid to. Being able to say what you want and how you feel will establish a better environment for everyone.

2. Don’t Laugh at the Jokes—it Just Feeds into it

Most of my social interactions with boys and even men, sexist jokes are seen as harmless and hilarious. Males of all ages and groups would even walk around wear t-shirts that had sexist jokes on them such as “make me a sandwich woman” or “get back in the kitchen” with a photo of an outline of a woman on the front, none of which are appropriate or help young girls and self-conscious women feel better about themselves. And to not seem like a “stick in the mud” you had to laugh along because if you didn’t, apparently that made you the “bad guy”. Not being able to “take a joke” was worse than making the horrible joke in the first place. With this, I say that people need to get offended by these jokes. People need to show that it is not okay for both young and full-grown men to make such horrible comments toward women.(learn ways in which you can be an ally as a man by reading 7 Ways Men Can be Better Allys for Gender Equality . Ed) We need to point out that those jokes are ancient and that time has progressed and so have the people. Being the one to get offended by the sexist joke, putting down an entire gender, is not something to be ashamed of. It should be something you wear with dignity and pride.

3. Don’t Fall into the Patterns of Putting Men on Pedestals While They Put You Down

photo of a woman wearing a business suit is standing close to the camera while four men dressed in business suits are blurry in the background and are laughing and pointing and gossiping about the woman

It can be very easy to just be submissive and fall into the patterns of the past. We say things such as “Oh I’m too girly to do that” or “That’s a job for a man”. Not only do men put women down, but we do it to ourselves as well. (for more on internalized misogyny visit Internalized misogyny limits female self-expression, success . Ed.) Not seeing that we are just as equal as men is a catalyst for sexist behavior to occur in the office. Allowing yourself to participate in this type of conversation shows offenders that you are okay with seeing yourself as less than equal to men. Another of example of this is when women are treated poorly by the words of the men that are seen as superior. When women in the workplace are treated like errand runners and the office maid, women are being seen as submissive and can easily be mistreated. Women are entitled to the same respect in an office that men are. The lack of respect that women receive is a different story. Women are seen as less authoritative because of past judgements and prejudices. Men use the excuse that women have had to fight for their rights to do so many things so it is hard to remember that we truly are equal. Unfortunately, this happens in more than just the workplace. Women are also seen as weak because some desire to raise a family and have children, requiring them to put a career on hold. If anything, I think it is a brave action to raise a family. Many people feel the pressure to return to work so that they do not lose their jobs because they have to take time off. This is absolutely ridiculous. I think that women should be seen as brave and deserve more respect for choosing to raise a family.

4. Reverse the Roles

cartoon image of three men playing tug of war with a single woman. the men have much more force pulling on the rope than the woman does and she is struggling to keep it on her side.

I think that reversing the roles is necessary. If a man says something a woman, why should we not want to raise our voices and ask the very question that could stop them in their tracks? “Would you make the comment to me if I was a man?” Asking this question, or any question like it, does not have to be done in a threatening way. It can be done in a casual manner to make it appear non-threatening but it still shows that you are not going to tolerate such language in your office or in your life. If someone uses nicknames to demean you or make any comments towards your appearance, reversing the roles and asking them if they are saying these things to you because you are a woman will make them stop and think about what is being said. In television shows and movies, it seems a lot easier to say this than it actually is. And I understand that. That being said, I do not think that we should halt our efforts. Sexism is oftentimes rooted in in the lack of respect for the other gender. To stop this from happening, you can reverse the roles and make a comment to them, to make the oppressor understand how hurtful words can be. With this, you can also ask the oppressor to repeat themselves so they have to hear what they said again. And then have them explain what they have said. This makes them have to think about what was said and realize that what they are saying is completely inappropriate. Making the oppressor in the office stop and think about the things they have said and then giving them the chance to apologize is a way to change this behavior. Taking their jokes or comments, whether it be about the job you have or they believe you should have, about your body, or appearance, or any other horrible thing that can be said, asking them to stop and think about what they have said by reversing the roles is a great approach to ending sexist actions towards women in the workplace.

5. Take Action and Do what is best for you

If you work in an office (or exist in any type of place that allows this behavior) that oppresses women and you feel that you are victim of it, the previous suggestions are great ways to approach sexism in the workplace. If you feel that you need to take more steps or action to end the misogyny, then you’re in luck! This final suggestion goes hand in hand with my first suggestion. four ethnically diverse women with their arms crossed in front of them standing next to each other in varying colors of business suits smiling at the camera Taking action is very important to ending the sexism in any workplace. Some examples of taking action: (For more information on your rights as a woman in the workplace click the link. Ed.) are contacting a supervisor, making a log of inappropriate instances, etc. Sometimes, it is going to be bigger than that. It may come down to you having to leave your job if there is not help coming your way. If there is any sort of negligence to discipline or lack of change after addressing the issue, you may be best interested in leaving. I do not suggest this to admit defeat or show that you are weak, but because of the exact opposite. As a person who has been in toxic living and working environments, sometimes the best way to make a statement is doing what is best for you and leaving the workplace because of the horrible behavior occurring in the office. If you are uncomfortable and are tired of dealing with misogynistic coworkers, then why stay? You are not weak or submissive, and definitely not admitting defeat, if you do so. I believe in doing what is best for you and if leaving the workplace is what is best for you, then I say, leave!

Conclusion:

Sexism is not going to go away overnight, if ever. There are too many types of sexism and not enough people willing to take action. I think that if any woman is ever in a situation that she is feeling like a victim of sexism, that these actions need to be taken. There are too many women allowing themselves to fall victim of such actions because they are afraid of further oppression. Misogynist actions or jokes are not to be tolerated. With the amount of equal rights movements occurring now and in the past, women should not have to deal with this behavior. With the different suggestions I have provided, I think that there can be some serious action taken if women are not afraid to speak up for themselves. I know that it is scary to think about approaching a boss and “tattling” or being afraid to approach a boss because they are part of the oppression. I encourage you to be brave and do whatever it takes to get this sort of behavior stopped in your workplace (or your school space or church place or whatever place it is). Speaking out, reversing the roles, not laughing or letting men feel superior, and doing what is best for you are my best suggestions for women dealing with sexism in the workplace.

5 ways to deflect sexism in the workplace when you’re a woman

By Taylor Blount